Deck the halls with... wait that was last month, so without further ado, Welcome to 2005, or MMV (for those of a Roman disposition). Relive the joy of 2004 with the SpodMag archive!
Horse Clocks
For those who like a horse clock on their wrist, there's the rather elegant clock "In pliable plastic": http://www.backinthesaddle.com/aspfiles/itemdy00.asp?category=&UID=2005010109300441&T1=B37882
Or perhaps a chain gang horse is more to your liking? http://www.smilingfaces.co.uk/horse_clock.smaling_faces/use.id.5.item_id.273.cat.7.dept.2/ "This is our most popular clock as every girl wishes she could have her own horse."
Quotes
Clive :That was *close*!
Clive :We just had a fire drill.
+++ xhosa returns from idling.
xhosa :oh, rubbing sticks together?
Clive :I put my mobile in my pocket without keylocking it, in my hurry.
Clive :It dialled 999.
Clive :I was standing next to some jokers in the car park who were
screaming "Fire! Fire! Aaaargh! We're all gonna burn!"
Clive :That took some explaining when I found my phone was off the hook.
)-8
Hal Quotes
Flux %What do you do, in the bath? {HALChat}
HALBot %Flux> A splishy splashy bath of poo? {HALChat}
Flux %Who would you like to get splishy spashy with, young man?
{HALChat}
HALBot %Flux> Kukulcan, kukulcan, man of oxford... {HALChat}
HALBot %Ethel> That's like hypnotising chickens. {HALChat}
Flux %A pet skunk is a skunk kept by humans for companionship and enjoyment. {HALChat}
HALBot %Flux> Ergo, topper is a skunk kept by humans for companionship and enjoyment. {HALChat}
Flux %Tell me about skunks. {HALChat}
HALBot %Flux> Baby skunks need lots of porn? {HALChat}
Kinnison pauses halchat before he loses all his productivity
Flux %Kinnison doesn't love you. He abuses you, and leaves you.
{HALChat}
HALBot %Flux> I'll let kinnison do that. {HALChat}
Flux %You're just a tart bot. {HALChat}
HALBot %Flux> In a very sick bot. {HALChat}
Flux %Tell me about Bob's favourite brothel. {HALChat}
HALBot %Flux> Bob's penis is tough and chewy and stringy. {HALChat}
Bob %It's very much like Cheesey String. {HALChat}
HALBot %Bob> You dislike the implications of what you're implying, but i
don't? {HALChat}
Bob %Something like that. {HALChat}
HALBot %Bob> I dislike what you're smoking? {HALChat}
Bob %I'm not smoking anything. I've just farted, though. {HALChat}
HALBot %Bob> Who on mh woul dyou most like to call it charles. {HALChat}
Flux %Bob's penis sounds like one to miss. {HALChat}
HALBot %Velvet> Dks is cuddly, lovely, generous, funny and also a 1970s
pimo mofo, though. {HALChat}
HALBot %Ethel> On that note, parm looks like leo sayer. {HALChat}
HALBot %nutta> Won't somebody think of budapest? {HALChat}
nutta %Mmmm...budapest {HALChat}
HALBot %nutta> Mmmm drinking and fun. {HALChat}
Bob %You gain satisafaction from beating people up while they stare at
your cock? {HALChat}
HALBot %Bob> How poetic of you, now i know about kukulcan? Has he not
terrorised the people in half an hour. {HALChat}
Ethel %Talk jibberish to me. Life has lost its meaning. {HALChat}
HALBot %Ethel> Baby skunks need lots of pikeys but a wee boy. He got
taken away soon afterwards, but i may have lost the plot.
{HALChat}
Ethel %Absoultely brilliant. Give me more. Make me wish I was a girl.
{HALChat}
HALBot %Ethel> A trip to honolulu or a girl. Or a girl. Or a girl?
Straight, bi or gay? {HALChat}
Ethel %Straight, bi or gay. I'm not overly fussy. Probably bi, really,
as that keeps options open. {HALChat}
HALBot %Ethel> Open the pod-bay doors, hal. {HALChat}
Ethel %Not particularly girly, you're simply talking to yourself. Leave
the pod bay doors alone and insert something lewd. {HALChat}
HALBot %Ethel> Well, you can insert cheesy poofs, but they'd probably be a
bit nipple i suppose. {HALChat}
HALBot %Hermione> Erk! It's one of the beauties of verilog is that i am
experiencing fear. {HALChat}
HALBot %ermintrude> I think parm should be more erudite when speaking to
you. {HALChat}
fledermaus :You hear that parm? You are INSUFFICIENTLY erudite.
Bob :Especially while talking to ermintrude.
dkscully %potato chips. {HALChat}
HALBot %dkscully> Potato 'foot-and-mouth' hits the uk! {HALChat}
ermintrude :I want it sorted out.
HALBot %Bob> Parm gets up to bideford / on a westward breeze / mast by
mast, sail over sail she rises from the anus during defecation.
{HALChat}
fledermaus %What is that? An Ode to Tubgirl? {HALChat}
HALBot %fledermaus> Topper is tubgirl. {HALChat}
dkscully %nah. badgers. {HALChat}
HALBot %dkscully> Nah, huggie can stay. {HALChat}
Flux %What has huggie got to do with badgers, or skunks? {HALChat}
HALBot %Flux> Huggie is too much, but regular, planned masturbation is
better that no masturbation and unpredicted failures. {HALChat}
Quotes from far away times and places
This one is old but golden, from 2004-02-19. I can't remember why I was feeling provoked, but hey.
Ethel |Give me one reason why I shouldn't hate him <@Public, -Ryan>
Ethel |Give me one reason why I shouldn't hate him <@Public, -Clive>
Ryan |Till I started enjoying my abdul hatefest, i would have said 'coz
hating is bad' <@Public, -Clive>
Clive |Shan't <@Public, -Ryan>
% Ethel rules {evil}
Ethel %Mwahahahahaaaaaa {evil}
| Kinnison laughs almost uncontrollably <@Public, -Ryan, -Clive>
This one from the Other Place
Tank >is that true about clive? +++ Whispered to Tank: 'what?' Tank >the shout. Tank >toad !Clive:"I fuck goats up the arse" (end quote) +++ Whispered to Tank: 'Make your own judgement.' Tank >I can't. +++ Whispered to Tank: 'Why not?' Tank >If it were you I could. +++ Whispered to Tank: 'wtf is that supposed to mean?' Tank >well, I you're not the animal loving type. +++ Whispered to Tank: 'How do you reach that conclusion?' Tank >you appear to be normal. +++ Whispered to Tank: 'You've never met me. How can you say that?' Tank >you seam to be normal on here. +++ Whispered to Tank: 'I may be a pederast with a passing interest in +++ bestiality and just pretending to be normal.' Tank >are you? +++ REmote'd to Tank: 'Ethel is not saying.' Tank >oh....
