It's June!

Horse Clock

[The swift and ignoble end of the "Mister Ed Talking Horse Clock" Corporation]

Quote

mace        :fluffy> yeah it can be a git to get intercity 125's off sometimes

dkscully    :oh, the... forbidden pleasure of touching it.

daern       :I think I'll leave at 5pm and stick the radio on in the car
fledermaus  :why, what's happening at 17:00?
daern       :fled: The US are invading Australia
daern       :"damn kangaroos"
Clive suddenly has an idea for a new kind of bouncing bomb. Kangaroo with
             semtex in its pouch?
Topper      :nitroglycerine might be more fun
Bob         :Semtex is only used by the Czechs and terrorists.  The Aussies
             would use C4. :)
Clive       :Topper> Naah - you don't want it going off until the GPS says it's
             in the right place.
Clive       :Or maybe you paint huge numbers on the sides of the kangaroos, and
             SMS the one you want to explode ad-hoc?
Ethel       :surely the hugeness of the number is limited by available space on
             the side of the kangaroo?
Clive       :Ethel> You get a set of consecutive SIMs, or just put reference
             codes on the kangaroos.
Kinnison    :Tie zeppelins to the kangaroos with the number written on the
             zeppelin
Topper      :or pay lots of money for short codes for each of them
Kinnison    :Or have one shortcode
Ethel       :and hope that someone doesn't send "boom" to 80295
Kinnison    :"Text 'EXPLODE' plus the number of the kangaroo to 82122"

dkscully    :have any of you played with GPSs and linux?
Ethel       :a tomu not
Ethel repositions fingers
Ethel       :a tiny bit
dkscully hgus ethel
dkscully    :gah.

dkscully    :you have really odd taste in men. ;-)
Velvet hugs dks, I have some upstairs but I'm not venturing up there *quite*
             yet

Flux covers Ethel in chocolate source, and tosses him to the lesbians. That'll
             keep him out of mischief for a while.

Ethel       :conversation over there ----> contained "PR coup" which sounded
             just like Piarco, Trinidad's international airport
Ethel       :not that anyone gives a shit...
+++ Bob starts automatically idling.

Unquote

ermintrude  %did you go to cambridge? {HALChat}
HALBot      %ermintrude> I did get laughed at for having no sex life, though.
             {HALChat}

HALBot      %xhosa> Be nice about andrea's preference for hard-cheese in her
             vagina, owing to its inherent softness. {HALChat}

Velvet      %MOO! {HALChat}
HALBot      %Velvet> Moo, moo, moo, he said. The grass is green, the meadow
             runs on, down to the british crime survey, which is the king of
             the ploughing. {HALChat}
Velvet      %MOO?! {HALChat}
HALBot      %Velvet> Perhaps you don't moo provocatively enough? {HALChat}
Velvet      %moooooooo ;-) {HALChat}
HALBot      %Velvet> You gain satisafaction from beating people up while they
             stare at your cock? {HALChat}
Velvet      %moo! moo! moo! {HALChat}
HALBot      %Velvet> I seem to like you can't relax.  You're trying to ensure
             you don't moo provocatively enough? {HALChat}
Velvet      %Mooooooooooooooo {HALChat}
HALBot      %Velvet> Ermintrude enjoys being chatted up with cheesey poetry. I
             believe ode to a large orgy. {HALChat}

ermintrude  %why goat sex? {HALChat}
HALBot      %ermintrude> A demonic lesbian sandwich. {HALChat}

I'm clearly more cleverer than Clive, since this really wasn't at all troublesome.

lime        %May I ask a question? {HALChat}
HALBot      %lime> Woudl you consider yourself a submissive ponyboy, or a
             dominant master? {HALChat}
lime        %That's not quite the question I was thinking of. {HALChat}
HALBot      %lime> No - i was asking on ethel's behalf! {HALChat}
lime        %Ethel can be my ponyboy. {HALChat}
HALBot      %lime> Ryan can be my ponyboy. {HALChat}

HALBot      %fledermaus> Where can we get sex with natalie portman. {HALChat}
fledermaus  %I'm not sure we can. {HALChat}
HALBot      %fledermaus> You've not told we anything facinating for ages.
             {HALChat}

xhosa       %Weirding devices would be the type of technology most likely to be
             used in comedy banter while drunk around a campfire. {HALChat}
HALBot      %xhosa> Fred's interests included bowling, playing pool, poker,
             lounging around the house, and playing golf. {HALChat}
xhosa       %Who is Fred? {HALChat}
HALBot      %xhosa> Well, fred is a liberal democrat. {HALChat}