Abandon Hope all those who are named below, and for those not named, don't think you've escaped, there is much more SpodMag.

Quotes

Topper      :oh cock.  I forgot to get a mayo sachet for my sarnie
Clive       :What about a mayo sachet for your cock?
Bob         :Hmm, creamy.
Clive       :Bob> No - that's the smeg.
Ethel       :eew
Bob         :Ah, my mistake.
parm        :From sandwiches to smegma in four lines
parm        :Welcome to MH

dkscully wibbles.
+++ huggie returns from idling.
huggie puts dks on a plate
+++ fluffy starts automatically idling.
Flux        :On a plate?
+++ xhosa starts automatically idling.
dkscully    :like a jelly, I assume.
Flux        :If you were a jelly, what flavour would you be?
+++ xhosa returns from idling.
xhosa       :Flux>KY?
Kinnison    :KY doesn't taste nice
xhosa       |cue Clive! <@Public, -Clive>

ermintrude wishes for better sex scenes

Velvet      :oh, hot boy on boy action
Velvet      :lycra.
Velvet      :yes :-)

HAL Quotes

Flux        %Don't you want me baby? {HALChat}
HALBot      %Flux> You want me, baby? {HALChat}
Flux        %Are you devastating in bed? {HALChat}
HALBot      %Flux> No spitting, by order, the mgt. {HALChat}
dkscully    %swallowing only, then? {HALChat}
HALBot      %dkscully> Swallowing makes you stronger? {HALChat}

Flux        %Who wants Bob? {HALChat}
HALBot      %Flux> Bob is kinnison's fun recreational activity. {HALChat}

HALBot      %Kinnison> How the hell do i reduce desire to kill all the humans.
             {HALChat}
Kinnison    %give in to the desire {HALChat}
HALBot      %Kinnison> How do i reduce desire to kill you.  And nobody wants
             that! {HALChat}
Kinnison    %Aww sweet. You don't want to kill me. {HALChat}
Bob         %I think he's saying that nobody wants to reduce his desire to kill
             you. {HALChat}

Ethel       %do you put your virtual penis in a virtual vice for your own
             sordid virtual pleasure? {HALChat}
HALBot      %Ethel> Bob's penis is large, beutiful, perfectly formed, and
             completely un-cheesey. {HALChat}
Ethel       %I am sure Kinnison is happy to know that {HALChat}
HALBot      %Ethel> When did kinnison grow his first cactus? {HALChat}

HALBot      %xhosa> Clive fucks pigs. {HALChat}

HALBot      %xhosa> Have you seen that new cleaning product "clit bang"?
             {HALChat}

HALBot      %xhosa> Parm has a mind of disgusting filth. {HALChat}

HALBot      %xhosa> No, i'm fat :-p. {HALChat}

ermintrude  %who has fine mamms? {HALChat}
HALBot      %ermintrude> Do you know a story about kat's mamms. {HALChat}
Ethel       %they are mamms of Ancient Legend {HALChat}
HALBot      %Ethel> Who has fine mamms? {HALChat}
ermintrude  %you seme to think it's kat {HALChat}
HALBot      %ermintrude> Kat looks better naked, so i'm told. {HALChat}

xhosa       %Is it wrong to be attracted to many people at once? {HALChat}
HALBot      %xhosa> Molly isn't evil, its more a pleasure to be attracted to
             many people at once? {HALChat}
xhosa       :heh - how very in-apt
xhosa       %Sometimes your replies worry my sensibilities {HALChat}
Flux        %It's easy to be attracted to many people at once. {HALChat}
HALBot      %Flux> Matt's not easy. Matt's hard. {HALChat}
Flux        %What's hard about Matt? {HALChat}
HALBot      %Flux> Rock hard nipples. {HALChat}
Flux        %I find that hard to believe. {HALChat}
HALBot      %Flux> It is hard to whistle with a big gay homosexual? {HALChat}
xhosa       %Depends where you blow on him {HALChat}
HALBot      %xhosa> Depends who you're having fun with. {HALChat}
Flux        %Who is xhosa attracted to? {HALChat}
HALBot      %Flux> Does parm stand on street corners in short skirts? {HALChat}
xhosa       %If he did, I'd not be attracted {HALChat}
HALBot      %xhosa> I'm getting out my oice recognition unicycle! Many
             wurlitzers are missing from my ability to move, and does not have
             the decency to be attracted to many people at once? {HALChat}

ermintrude  %is huggie or flux stranger? {HALChat}
HALBot      %ermintrude> Huggie plans to lead an insect nation! {HALChat}

Flux        %Trance soup! {HALChat}
HALBot      %Flux> Is bean soup keeping dkscully single? {HALChat}