Issue 2 - October 2004

The democratic spodmag

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Packed with witty and original goodness to brighten your day.

Horse Clocks

[This month's clock] is a tasteful threesome number, even if it does look like they've been trapped in concrete.

[For the Children...] This tasteful horse alarm clock is beautifully rendered in plastic...

Quotes

Ryan        :etcetc - but they had this really cool lookig metal bum-dildo that
             you put in and tapped the tuning-fork end ...
Ryan        :and the girl made the same note.

dkscully shudl go grab some liquid refreshment.
dkscully    :lunch was a touch salty.
dkscully    :(no, don't go there.)

+++ Ethel starts idling.  (wrrk)
+++ Ethel returns from idling.
+++ Ethel starts idling.  (wrrk)
+++ Ethel reidles.  (wrrk really)

parmbert    %I AM A REATRD {HALChat}

HALBot Quotes

parmbert    %I'm being oppressed! {HALChat}
HALBot      %parmbert> Ethel eats chilli-con-carne. {HALChat}

parmbert    %Clive has velvet's pants {HALChat}
HALBot      %parmbert> But dks has pictures of clive filling topper's holes.
             {HALChat}

HALBot      %parmbert> Topper say kat is a bright orange ironing board with
             cheesecake covers. {HALChat}

HALBot      %ermintrude> Kat has purple pubes. {HALChat}

parmbert    %Quick, I need an excuse to not go round mairi's house tonight
             {HALChat}
HALBot      %parmbert> I believe you are rather too free tonight. You'll have
             to excuse him, an electrical fire damaged your voice recognition
             unicycle? {HALChat}

Ethel       %clive? {HALChat}
HALBot      %Ethel> Clive, he of great legend they say. {HALChat}

parmbert    %My mokey is depressed {HALChat}
HALBot      %parmbert> Spamking a mokey isn't bestiality. {HALChat}

HALBot      %kat> Parm shaved his beard off a goat. {HALChat}

HALBot      %xhosa> What do you know of bob. He apparently has his power supply
             pushed into kinnison's groin. {HALChat}

ermintrude  %what are you wearing? {HALChat}
HALBot      %ermintrude> I dunno, just general stuff, but it's made from, with
             those suggestions i'm glad i'm wearing some form of thought
             protection. {HALChat}

HALBot      %xhosa> Kill huggie? No! He's got too nice a bum to die. {HALChat}
xhosa       %How do you know about huggie's bum - who told you? {HALChat}
HALBot      %xhosa> Greasey bum sex. {HALChat}

HALBot      %Ethel> Would you bang jesus for an accessibility api, you are
             steaming green masturbatory wank. Please be cordially invited to
             consume my engorged genitalia. {HALChat}

huggie      %Ethel wants Kinnison's ginger nuts. {HALChat}
HALBot      %huggie> Yuo lubricate your scruttocks? {HALChat}

HALBot      %Flux> How come when you gaze into autoconf, autoconf gazes into
             you also. Battle not with shell programs, lest a shell programmer
             you become. {HALChat}