Quotations by real people of real people saying real things

Velvet      :goat?
dkscully    :velvet> yes, goat.

[catching mice]
Ethel       :cat with shotgun and coffee
yossarian   :coffee's really bad for cats.
Ethel       :so are shotguns
yossarian   :they can't metabolise the caffeine
yossarian   :guns don't kill cats.
yossarian   :dogs with guns kill cats.
Ethel       :they can't metabolise high-velocity lead

dkscully wishes her brain owuld actually function.

...Monday morning conversation about masturbation causing left-arm spasm in the right-handed...
Kinnison    :Aah, such highbrow conversation. I knew MH was good for something

daern       :Is 10061 the winsock "I'm not listening" error?
Jaffa       :ELALALALA?

Quotations by real people of pretend people being odd

HALBot      %parm> Ermintrude loves a bit of a modern major-general with his
             papal powers?  Blimey. {HALChat}

HALBot      %Bob> Fix dkscully's logic, ta. {HALChat}
dkscully    %bah! {HALChat}

HALBot      %arafel> Send parm a vat of nipple clamps, some bug lube and a
             studded strap-on. {HALChat}

HALBot      %Ethel> Slippery bumpew, you boring bastard. {HALChat}

dkscully    %(only eridite nonsense, here, please.) {HALChat}
HALBot      %dkscully> Give me wibbly dildosex, please, hal. {HALChat}

HALBot      %dkscully> So you admit that your waffle is detrimental to out
             cognitive states then? {HALChat}